“Never mistake my silence for ignorance, my calm for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness. Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.”
~ Dalai Lama 14
In my previous articles, I discussed the essential qualities to become an accomplished leader. This time, I have chosen to offer you a lighter and more personal message, which you will discover throughout these lines.
When I talk about compassionate management , I often get the impression that many people think it is a complex concept, requiring a complete overhaul of the way they manage.
Of course, if you are an authoritarian manager who treats your employees like mere numbers, believing that there will always be people willing to accept this type of treatment to work in your company, the change may seem radical.
However, in the majority of cases, managers are simply looking to achieve their goals while respecting their employees.
Acquiring the qualities that I discuss in my other articles will be of great help to you in establishing real coherence within your team and encouraging your employees to surpass themselves in order to contribute to the achievement of organizational objectives.
Of course, this will require effort on your part as well as an open-mindedness from your employees to adopt new ways of working.
Start with kindness; an act of leadership
Before considering transforming everything, I remain convinced that kindness is the starting point.
-How do you react when someone offers to help you when you need it?
-How do you feel when someone smiles at you?
-What is the real cost of a kind gesture?
-What prevents you from integrating these simple actions into your daily life?
I really understood the impact of my words and actions on the lives of others when I became a team manager. Let’s be clear, I suspected that my arrogant and contemptuous words, during my childhood and adolescence (sorry to almost all my teachers at the time ☹) were not very positive and that I was negatively impacting the ego or mood of these people.
However, by channeling this energy towards a positive goal, I had a realization that completely changed my life: it is possible to accomplish small gestures in our eyes that will have a major impact on others.
You just have to observe and relate to people.
In the age of technology, it is becoming more and more common to communicate via social media or email rather than interacting directly with people. We often use our busy schedules as an excuse to stay in our offices, away from our employees.
However, they are not asking for much and understand that you have responsibilities. A simple ‘hello’, a smile, or even knowing their first names can already show the importance you give them within the organization.
If you are reluctant to adopt this approach in your work environment, you can start by practicing it in your daily life. The people you pass in stores or on the street are neither friends nor colleagues.
If your interaction with these people isn’t perfect, it probably won’t have a lasting impact on your life. However, it does give you an opportunity to observe the reactions of others and measure the impact of your kind gestures. These experiences can then be applied in your professional environment.
Some examples of kindness
On a recent trip to the grocery store with my two teenage sons, I saw a woman in a wheelchair who appeared to be struggling with her shopping cart in her hand and a bottle of bleach that she was struggling to place on her wheelchair. A few items had fallen to the floor.
So I asked her if she needed help and after 20-30 seconds she was in a good mood and the situation was resolved. My children, who use an aura gradation to define our good and bad gestures, gave me 1000 auras for this gesture.
They are always embarrassed when I talk to people and they don’t understand my purpose. They normally run away so as not to be identified as my children.
So I used this event to explain to them that this type of action takes minimal time and effort, but had a significant impact on the lady’s life.
I believe that most adults would have helped the lady in question if they had seen her distress, but the point of this example is simply to indicate that, both in everyday life and at work, a series of small gestures on your part to help can have an immense impact.
~~~
While visiting a client, as I was leaving the premises, I ran into a former colleague and we walked together towards the parking lot. As I passed in front of the security guard, I greeted him using his first name.
My colleague, surprised that I knew his name, confessed that she ran into him every other morning, but didn’t know it. Embarrassed, she confided in me that, despite herself, her workload didn’t leave her time to talk to the security guards.
I told her that I understand completely, but that remembering someone’s first name doesn’t necessarily require lengthy discussions. Using their name in future interactions can be enough to make them feel recognized and important.
It’s not always easy to remember people’s names, but in my experience, it’s a very powerful gesture.
~~~
When I was a production supervisor, I had dozens of temporary employees from agencies. When I walked the floor, I would try to get in touch with them, for a few moments, and my first question was to ask their name.
I have a good memory for names so it was easy for me. One of them, one day, after I spoke to him using his name, mentioned to me that I was the only supervisor who remembered his name and seeing his smile, I can confirm that he felt important.
My effort: ask his name and try to remember it.
Impact for him: commitment and motivation to work in my team.
There is no shame in getting the name wrong and reconfirming to use it correctly next time. The impact is the same and the employee’s motivation is increased.
In short, the first step to becoming a leader is building relationships with your followers and meeting their needs. Simple actions that may seem insignificant to you can have a profound effect on their engagement and motivation.
~~~
Need help improving your leadership skills or building a culture of caring leadership? Do not hesitate to contact me. I will be happy to listen to you and provide you with the tools you need for the future.
Always remember: how does your mood impact your performance and overall attitude? Imagine if all your employees or collaborators were happy…
Carl-Michael Tessier
Coach in high-performance team development and tailor-made support
Leave a Reply