Since forever, men have been taught to hide their emotions.
Crying, expressing vulnerability?
Unthinkable.
I grew up with these rules…
It was frowned upon…
It was the best way to lose all your friends at school.
To be labeled as “weak,” as emotional. Those weren’t the exact words used at the time, but well… you get the point.
I hope you’re reading these words and your reaction is:
He’s crazy!
What is he talking about?
That would mean that this perception of men versus emotions is evolving.
Yes!
However, this perception has affected—and still affects—many men.
Why am I bringing this up today?
To help you understand the limiting beliefs I had to fight when I got my first managerial position.
Daring to Show Appreciation: A High-Impact Initiative
It was one week before Christmas 2017, and I was trying to find a way to recognize the great work of my leadership team.
Since the holidays were approaching, I decided to write a personalized Christmas card for each member of my team, in either French or English depending on their native language.
Each card was about three-quarters of a page long, following this structure:
- A paragraph with general holiday wishes
- A paragraph about why I enjoyed working with that person
- A paragraph about a challenge or an area we could work on together the following year
It looked a bit like a performance review, but it was very light—no “areas for improvement,” just growth and development.
The Taboo of Male Emotions in the Workplace
And this is when the limiting beliefs from the beginning of this newsletter came back to haunt me.
- What will the men on my team think?
- Will they find this gesture ridiculous?
- Will they judge me?
- Will I lose my credibility?
- Do they even want a Christmas card?
I knew that this kind of attention would be well received by the women on my team, but the men? They weren’t intellectuals like me—they were mechanics and manual workers. Shop guys, as we call them.
After several minutes of hesitation, I decided to go for it and own my decision.
If I had been an employee, I would have loved this kind of gesture from my manager.
As I’ve mentioned in other messages, this approach is my compass in management:
I put myself in the other person’s shoes, and if I would have appreciated the approach, I consider it the right way to go.
The Result: A Total Success
Some of the women cried…
One of them told me that I was the first manager ever to wish her happy holidays…
That surprised and disappointed me. It doesn’t take something as intense as a Christmas card, but at the very least, wishing someone happy holidays should be a basic expectation.
And the men?
They all really appreciated it.
This gesture became one of the first pillars of the team culture I was building:a culture of support and kindness.
Among the team, I had a man with a difficult past who was very impulsive and quick-tempered.
But after receiving this card, he became one of my strongest allies.
When I would go help out on the production lines, he would tell me, “I got this, go back to your management tasks.”
Why Was This Gesture So Important?
Because everyone appreciates positive recognition—men and women alike.
Everyone.
How to Integrate Recognition Into Your Leadership Style
Taking time to recognize your employees’ contributions should be a priority for any manager who wants to take their team to the next level.
You don’t need to write Christmas cards like I did. But find your own way to show your team members how important they are to achieving organizational goals and shaping the culture you want to create.
It can be as simple as:
- Saying hello
- Learning your employees’ names
- Asking about their country of origin, their family, their interests
- Simply connecting with them
Do you enjoy talking about yourself and having people find you interesting?
Most people are just like you.
Your employees are human beings.
Men or women, they want to feel recognized and know that their presence and contributions matter to the team.
You can’t overdo it with recognition.
But it has to be sincere.
When you start recognizing people, you’ll see a drastic change in your team—just like I did.
Engaged and motivated employees are more productive, help you delegate tasks, and create a positive work environment where people enjoy coming to work.
Recognition isn’t a luxury—it’s a powerful lever for motivation and performance.
What I Learned From My Team
A simple gesture can transform an entire company culture.
And you—how will you recognize your employees today?
What’s stopping you from adopting this approach now?
What benefits do you see in better connecting with your employees?
Need help?
Discover the 5 Must-Ask Questions for Happy Teams
Do you want to better understand what motivates your team members and could help you create a happy team? My practical guide, 5 Must-Ask Questions for Happy Teams, is designed to provide you with simple and effective tools to:
- Create a climate of trust within your team
- Identify the true needs and aspirations of your employees
- Encourage meaningful conversations that foster collaboration
- Boost engagement and collective performance
- Anticipate and resolve challenges before they become obstacles
Carl-Michael Tessier M. Sc., MBA
Coach in high-performance team development and tailor-made support
Leave a Reply