“A smile cures the wounding of a frown” – William Shakespeare
I just finished reading the book of Dale Carnegie from 1937 How to Win Friends & Influence People. I really enjoyed it and even though it is close to a hundred years old. The elements he discussed in the book on strategy to win people over are still valid today. It is true that some of the references are harder to grasp. Most of the US presidents he refers to (beside Lincoln) are unknown to me. The book was updated to have a fresher feel. However, most examples and content remained the same as the original. We see the world through the eyes of an American in the middle of the Great Depression prior to World War II.
I learn a lot of actions that can be taken to influence people (not manipulate them, there is a difference mostly in the intention of the person carrying the actions).
A smile brings happiness
Today, I just want to focus on a quote from the book that I used as the title of the present article. It is taken from Part 2: Six ways to make people like you.
It is that the effect of a smile is powerful 😁.
You probably have the same reaction I did when I read this. My first thought was:
Really! Is smiling that strong of a gesture that will make people like you?
What do you think?
Before answering this question, I closed my eyes and thought of the people that are always smiling. Also, about the impact it does have on the people around them. To be honest, I do not know if it is cultural or only because I am a man but almost all my references (if you remove politicians) were smiling women. From Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman to my friend Flore whom I met in my Coaching Course. These smiling people seem to be all surrounded by a beautiful and peaceful aura that projects a feeling of trust and safety.
Am I wrong in my assumption that more women smile than men?
Do you know a lot of men that smile naturally?
Nevertheless, it always impacts me in the same way when I am met with a smile.
I smile back and have a general feeling of happiness. I genuinely want to interact with the person. For sure, all salesmen and saleswomen should minimally greet you with a smile to increase their chance to perform a sale.
I do not know the reason for it but smiling seems to be contagious. Somewhat like yawning but more fun and respectful.
Smiling at work
Now that we can conclude that we are more willing to engage and interact with a person that smiles rather than frowns, a good leader should see in this conclusion another tool that can be added to their arsenal when leading a group.
A smiling leader can have a positive impact on workplace dynamics and performance.
It builds trust and sends the signal to your team members that they can communicate safely and openly with you.
It fosters an atmosphere or collaboration that enhances teamwork, boosts morale and motivation. Working with a smiling leader makes employees feel appreciated which increases engagement and productivity.
Imagine only having to smile at your team members and see a growth in engagement, collaboration and output. It is not a big cost for such a reward. Actually, it is free and so it can be put in place rapidly.
As can be seen by the advantages listed above, it would be a great benefit for every leader to smile when interacting with anybody. It is a great way to better connect with your collaborators or to break the ice with somebody that seems more shy and harder to interact with.
Smiling does not come naturally to all of us
The only problem is that it is easier said than done for some of us.
Just speaking for myself, although I believe in the conclusion mentioned by Dale Carnegie, I believe it is a challenge for people like me, who do not naturally smile. In my case, it takes energy and effort to put a smile on my face. I am a positive person and I enjoy life, laughter and being with people, I just do not often smile.
Just for pictures, I always feel uncomfortable when I smile. It is as if invisible threads were pulling on the ends of my mouth to lift it but the natural state wanted to bring it back down. The two forces are fighting one another and I know who won when I see the final result on the picture.
I will try though and work on it…
Discover the 5 Essential Questions to Strengthen Your Relationships with Employees
Do you want to better understand what motivates your team members and improve their engagement? My practical guide, 5 Must-Ask Questions For Happy Teams, is designed to provide you with simple and effective tools to:
- Create a climate of trust within your team
- Identify the true needs and aspirations of your employees
- Encourage meaningful conversations that foster collaboration
- Boost engagement and collective performance
- Anticipate and resolve challenges before they become obstacles
Access the guide for free on the blog page.
If you’re ready to transform your leadership style and build a more engaged and high-performing team, I’m here to support you. Together, we’ll work on concrete solutions to tackle your current challenges and achieve your future goals. Contact me today to learn more.
Coach in high-performance team development and tailor-made support
Leave a Reply