How many times have you heard people around you who align their mood with the day of the week? Happy on Fridays, because they will not work for two days and unhappy on Mondays, because they will have to work for 5 days. How sad!
How can we avoid being unhappy at work?
We spend an average of 40 hours per week at work and with meals and transport the total often approaches 50 hours.
50 hours of being miserable is a long time and it must be so painful. This number can be increased if you are not able to forget about work when you are at home.
50 hours out of 168 hours in a week is almost 1/3 of your precious time.
Why are you staying in your job if you are irritated to show up for work?
Is it obligatory to have a job?
Do you think you are limited by your education or a lack of experience in a field that interests you more?
Do you think you are too old to make a career change?
Is it financial security?
Are you afraid of leaving your friends at work?
Is it fear of change?
Are you at the end of your career or simply jaded?
On the surface, these are all logical reasons when we are in this situation and it is certain that financial stress, especially with a family that depends on your income, can seem like a real obstacle for changes.
Like many of you, I found myself in this situation earlier in my career when I was a technical writer and was looking to change positions. I applied for almost every internal position and the answer was always the same: we have no one to replace you…
So I continued to languish in a position that didn’t appeal to me and where I was not growing anymore. Since I am a pure extrovert and naturally position myself as an opinion leader, my mood had a big impact on my colleagues. In order not to harm my employer, I limited my interactions with my colleagues. My work weeks were long…
So I took the necessary steps to increase my chances of migrating to another position by completing an MBA, finding someone to replace me and with the help of a friend (because yes, we often need a helping hand) change position. It took some time and work but it was the beginning of many years of challenges and great achievements.
The remark that might come to mind is: but Carl, it’s easier for you, you have a scientific master’s degree and an MBA.
Yes, it is true and unfortunately, there are still limitations for those who do not have degrees. However, I haven’t found these diplomas in a box of Cracker Jack. I worked hard especially for the MBA, which took 5 years part-time, with 2 young children at home and a job that required me between 50-60 hours per week, to complete. Occasionally I had to return to work after my evening classes.
What makes me different from you?
Absolutely nothing…
But, as is the case if you are unhappy at work, I found myself faced with a choice:
I could accept my current situation and live in frustration and anger or I could take action.
We must also remember that when you are frustrated or unhappy, you obviously impact the lives of your colleagues, but you often bring this despair home, which also greatly impacts your personal life.
I can’t count the number of evenings I talked about my frustrations to those close to me, and most often to my wife. Looking back, what a torture for them: I was always talking about the same negative things…
Their answers: But why don’t you leave this position?
My answer was a mixture of the answers I gave above which keeps you in your current situation.
What you need to understand from this message is that you are responsible for your life and if you want to improve it, you can:
- Wait for a miracle or a stroke of luck
- Work on your perspective and try to find the positive in your current situation that will allow you to accept what was making you unhappy
- Stop blaming others for what happens to you and accept responsibility
- Make a change of direction.
The last option is more difficult, requires you to step out of your comfort zone, take risks and sometimes, take a step or two backwards so you can change course and go further. You will probably need additional tools, but above all a good dose of courage to change your situation.
But, when you have made this decision and your old life is behind you, you will tell yourself: why did I wait so long to make this decision?
No reason is justified to accept being unhappy at work… especially here in Quebec where education is not expensive and accessible to all, where we try to give equal access to all for positions in business.
The hardest part is taking the first step…
But when we take it, it opens a door to happiness.
Close your eyes and imagine your favorite moments in life when you are most fulfilled. What if these moments were your 50 hours per week at work…
Carl Michael Tessier
Coach in high-performance team development and tailor-made support
PS If you are thinking about starting a business like me, take a few minutes to read my article about my life since becoming an entrepreneur . It may help you in your reflexion.
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